Are you fucking kidding me? Lana fucking del Ray? Pokemon? Lady Gaga?

Absolutely the fuck not. Delete this entire fucking thing immediately.

So you're like good friends with someone, right? You talk all the time, you laugh, you get a little flirty (the best friendships are at least a little sexual, thank you), and you have a fucking great ass time (maybe with a little wine?). Then, all of a sudden, they kinda start to flake out on you. You don't talk as much, little snippets here and there throughout the day, and it's just like...that's fucked. I feel ignored and unappreciated. The question is, am I being a fucking Queen about all of this or are my feelings legit? And before hoes get on my back, I am not drunk. I'm just having an emotional crisis. Which I'm allowed to have. Thank you very much.

I feel like both a ghost and the White Rabbit of late. Fuck my life.

Rose are red
Violets are blue
You're pretty cool
But I'm better than you

And I wanna hang with the greats
Got away to go, but it's worth the wait
No, you haven't seen the best of me
I'm still working on my masterpiece

Alright X-People, I'm going to lay some realness down on ya'll right now.

Maybe it's just the invulnerability talking, but when someone wants to do something and they sit there and wheedle like "Oh, I don't know if I could do that" or "Oh, I don't know if he/she/they like me" my response is always "FUCKING DO IT!" Seriously, if it's not going to cause grievous bodily/psychological harm to you or other people then fucking do it. I mean, people are so hung up on receiving a little emotional pain that makes them into hand wringing nervous Nancy's. Drives me nuts, man.

Soooooo can someone tell me why it's so popular for there to be Facebook posts like "Oh, all a man wants is a loyal woman" or "Oh, all a girl want's is a guy that won't hurt her." I mean, geezus. Noooo waaay, bro, you want someone whose going to be honest, monogamous, and sensitive to your feelings? That's totally radical! I mean, holy shit. Seriously, though, those people can suck me.

God dammit Lana Del Ray, you get me every time!

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon
Like a fucking dream I'm living in...
Lick me up and take me like a vitamin
Cuz my body's sweet like sugar venom

I'm on the edge. Someone talk me down before I decide to turn a person into paste.

Dear everyone who matters to me,
I will be going out this evening, alone, to get extremely, unambiguously drunk. In addition, I will not be returning home for several days as after I plague my system with poisons in liquid form, as I will be spending those days recovering on my parent's couch. If you need me, please leave a voicemail. Also, to all the authority figures out there, I'll try my very best not to cause wanton property damage in my wake.

Love,

Jessica Campbell Jones