Out for the night.

Dear everyone who matters to me,
I will be going out this evening, alone, to get extremely, unambiguously drunk. In addition, I will not be returning home for several days as after I plague my system with poisons in liquid form, as I will be spending those days recovering on my parent's couch. If you need me, please leave a voicemail. Also, to all the authority figures out there, I'll try my very best not to cause wanton property damage in my wake.

Love,

Jessica Campbell Jones