xp_alias: the trick is to keep breathing (At the Office)
Jessica Jones ([personal profile] xp_alias) wrote2016-03-09 10:05 pm

(no subject)

You know, I was sitting by myself the other day, having a brew and just kinda thinking. I'm kinda, sorta, not really, a teacher and I figure that means I have a lot of wisdom to share. Soooooo here's five nuggets of wisdom, Jessica Jones style:

1. If you're drowning in the p#$$y just swim to the butt.

2. The best part of any Pitbull song is the guest vocalist.

3. When someone asks you how school is going and you want them to stop, you should respond with "Fine, as long as they don't find the cocaine and knives in my locker...Yeaaahhh, I'm addicted to cocaine."

4. If you find a girl who will eat your ass, don't marry her, but keep her in your phone.

5. YOU CAN'T FUCKING BREAK A HYMEN! Use fucking lube. Geezus.

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